Erk. Yeah, I can help with that. You're gonna be the least complicated--I've got solvents for nearly every commercial glue, a selection of the more exotic brands, and if all else fails I'll e-mail my Uncle Jesse, who teaches chemistry at the University of Wyoming and has forgotten more about glue pranks than I'll ever know. If she got your hair, we'll dunk your head in solvent, then shampoo, then find a really dense-bristled hairbrush.

The clothes are going to be trickier, and if Clarice used glue on them I will cheerfully join you in strangling her, because the only thing I can think of there is to soak 'em in the solvent until the glue gives, wash them several times to make sure all the dissolved glue is gone, hang them up to dry, and carpet-beat them until all the glitter is gone. If she didn't use glue, I'd say either hang them up et cetera, or find one of those pet-hair removal brushes. The annoying thing about glitter and cloth is that the corners on the glitter get caught in the fibers.

And she'd better pray she didn't use glue on the floor, 's all I can say.